We All Need Help.

I have a hard time asking for help. Actually, during interviews when I'm asked "What is a weakness of yours?", I typically answer leading with that.

I just don't want to bother anyone. I don't want anyone else's life to be harder or more frustrating because of me. Often times I can get over hurdles and figure out my issues on my own, so that's my default. If you see me struggling and ask me if I need help, I'll most likely say 'no thanks'.

Don't Forget Your Pride

There is plenty to gain from solving problems on your own. If you're able to, it can fill you with a sense of accomplishment and the feeling of satisfaction and pride knowing that you were able to complete that challenging task, or achieve that goal that you set for yourself. The more problems you solve the better you'll be at them, and maybe you'll eventually be so good at them you'll be able to help others conquer those same issues.

Once you're able to help others, that can give you an even greater sense of accomplishment, and an even greater feelings of satisfaction and pride.

The thing is, we can't all be good at everything. Some of us try, and some of us get closer than others. But it's a fact that nobody is good at everything. Nobody can figure out every solution to every problem they encounter. In fact the larger the problem is, the harder it is to solve by yourself.

The Helpers Like To Help

And this is where we shift our thinking a bit. If you're like me you have a great deal of pride knowing you're able to help people more times than not. The more I help people, the better I feel - especially knowing that they feel better as well.

But then ... why don't I like asking for help from others? There are many layers there and I'm no psychologist but I'm sure it includes a multitude of reasons including but not limited to:

• a fear of being vulnerable,
• self-reliance,
• shame or guilt,
• perfectionism,
• and much more.

All of those are very valid...but you have to also remember that most people actually do like to help. Especially if they're in your circle of family, friends, co-workers, etc.

Just like you may like to help people, they also like to help ... and I'm willing to bet they'd love to help you if you just ask.

Please don't let pride get in the way. If you're struggling, ask for help. If it's too hard to ask directly, maybe start a conversation about something else and ease in to it.

Your network wants to help you, and they most likely can.

You deserve it. 😍